Sharknado!!!

12 Jul

The Godfather, Gone with the Wind, The Shawkshank Redemption, Alvin and the Chipmunks: the Squeakquel – what do these films have in common?  They are all nowhere near as freakin’ awesome as a new made for TV movie being released on US’ the SyFy channel today.

Sharknado!!!

Sharknado

As you can probably deduce from the promo poster, this movie is basically a disaster flick whereby an ocean borne hurricane hits land and converts into a series of tornados, each packed with hundreds of sharks, turning them into airborne killing machines.  Finally!

I’m not sure whether this film is based on a true story, or is an adaptation of a D.H. Lawrence novel, but either way I’m sure it will be a classic.  How do I know?  Look at the cast: Tara Reid, aka the blonde from American Pie whose most famous moment since that 1999 film was accidentally showing her boobs on a red carpet shoot and not noticing until someone came and pulled up her dress; John Heard aka the dad from Home Alone; and in possibly the greatest coup in recent film history, Ian Ziering, aka Steve Sanders from the original Beverly Hills 90210 (whose character in this film, appropriately, is named ‘Fin’).  Clearly this ensemble cast puts Ocean’s 11 to shame.

Sure, the movie will probably require more suspension of disbelief than most films, as there are a few slightly hard to believe concepts.  For example, how do the sharks breathe as they are flying in the air?  How can there be so many sharks swept up by the ‘nado?  Why are only sharks swept up by the ‘nado?  And who would ever cast Ian Ziering in a movie? 

But I’m sure you can overlook those small details for the big picture awesomeness because, as you can see from the trailer and elsewhere, this movie has it all:

–        the ominous warning (Ziering to Reid on the phone): “It’s flooding here.  Not the plumbing – the ocean.”

–        subtle irony: the flying sharks claiming their first victims at a criminal business meeting of – wait for it – shark fin soup dealers!

–        sage advice to rally the troops (again, Ziering): “We can’t just stand here and wait for sharks to rain down on us.”

–        creativity: the gang arming themselves against the oncoming sharknado torrent with random items, including a pool cue – an object universally regarded as an effective weapon against a ten ton beast falling at you from a great height.

–        challenges: “We’re going to need a bigger chopper.”

–        solutions: people shooting flying sharks with handguns.

–        and, without doubt, what is already considered (by me) to be the greatest scene in the history of cinema: Ian Ziering, armed with a chainsaw, leaping heroically into the mouth of a flying shark.

No words can capture how amazing this scene is.

No words can capture how amazing this scene is.

Life just doesn’t get better than this.  Enjoy the trailer, and pray that there will be many sequels (Molecano?  Wolfquake?  Lizard Blizzard?)

What ridiculous disaster movie involving animals and natural phenomena would you like to see?  Share them in the comments section below

5 Responses to “Sharknado!!!”

  1. Toby July 13, 2013 at 12:53 am #

    This is a gee-up! This looks ridiculous… Yet I need to see it!!

    Ps Ian Ziering looks good for an 80-year-old

    • Hesaidwhatnow? July 13, 2013 at 8:28 am #

      Well in 90210 he did play a 17 year old when he was in his 40s…

  2. Barkley Mason July 13, 2013 at 5:11 am #

    What about ‘Bearnami’ or ‘Hippoquake’?

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