Terminator 2: Lock Up Your Vehicle

12 Jun

I was watching one of my favourite movies the other day, Terminator 2: Judgment Day, and noticed something: a lot of vehicles get stolen. 

And usually, destroyed soon after.

I also noticed that most of the stolen vehicles fall into two categories.  The first is the very large and very strong variety.  A good choice in the event that you intend to smash through walls, drive over pesky cars obstructing your way, or deflect other vehicles crashing into you as though they were flies at a summer barbecue – all things that tend to happen when involved in a cross-timelines cyborg related adventure.

The second type of vehicle generally hijacked is that belonging to the police force.  This is a discerning option for those who like the ability to access police information or enter secure areas without suspicion.

Luckily for the characters, when a vehicle is required, the closest one available tends to fall into the above categories.  What are the chances!

And so now Hesaidwhatnow? presents a run down of the vehicles stolen in T2.

Warning: this post contains multiple spoiler alerts.  If you haven’t seen the movie, slap yourself, and then hop in a Skynet time displacement machine and go back to any occasion in the last 21 years in which you watched a bad action sci-fi movie and watch T2 instead.

Vehicle 1: Harley Davidson motorcycle.  Stolen by the T-800.

A great reintroduction to Arnold Schwarzenegger’s terminator, the T-800 lands in 1991 right next to a bikie bar.  After beating up a few tough guys to prove he’s still the baddest of them all, the T-800 steals a bikie’s clothes and Harley.

Arnie in a leather jacket sitting on a Harley?  Good look.  Luckily he landed near the bikie bar.  Had he have landed near a coffee shop he might have ended up having to steal bike pants and an unnecessarily high-end bicycle.  Or even worse…

I need your clothes, your boots, and your girly bicycle with the pink ribbons and the basket on the front.

Vehicle 2: Police car.  Stolen by the T-1000

With similar luck to his terminator cousin, the T-1000 happens to land in a quiet area by which a police patrol car happens to be cruising.  A quick slash of his weaponised hand later and he’s looking like a cop and accessing the police database to find information on John Connor.  In pre-smartphone times, that’s a handy bit of luck.

Vehicle 3: Semi-trailer.  Stolen by the T-1000

After John Connor threatens to get away from him on a mini-bike, the T-1000 needs to commandeer a vehicle to pursue him immediately.  What happens to drive by?  A giant semi-trailer.  Again, T-1000’s luck holds as he uses the truck to smash through concrete barriers and fly into a storm drain from an overhead road.  His luck momentarily runs out when it blows up, but I’ve got a feeling he’ll land on his feet…

Vehicle 4: Police car.  Stolen by the T-1000.

Again?!  The LAPD might have a few extra insurance claims this week.

Vehicle 5: Police car.  Stolen by the T-800, Sarah Connor, and John Connor.

Presumably sick of the T-1000 having all the fun, the good guys take a turn at swiping a cop car when they help Sarah Connor escape from the mental hospital and, more importantly, the T-1000.  The poor policeman who loses the vehicle also cops a face full of concrete pole, but he can still count himself lucky: it would have been a lot worse had the T-1000 taken his car.

Vehicle 6: Police bike.  Stolen by the T-1000.

Mixing it up a little, the T-1000 takes a particular fancy to one policeman’s motorbike and decides to take it for a spin.  Another lucky choice as we’ll find out shortly.

Vehicle 7: Station wagon.  Stolen by the T-800, Sarah Connor, and John Connor.

With no T-1000 on their tail, the good guys steal a beaten up station wagon to drive south of the border.  The second lamest vehicle on this list, although had they stolen another police car the audience might have started thinking that California is populated entirely by policeman.

Vehicle 8: S.W.A.T truck.  Stolen by the T-800.

That’s more like it!  With all the cache of a police car, but with the wall smashing power of a semi-trailer, the T-800 sagely swipes a SWAT truck to crash through the lobby of Cyberdyne Systems and rescue his human companions.  Added bonus: the truck contains useful goodies like machine guns, bullet-proof vests and, presumably, donuts.

Now, which police car can I steal next...?

Now, which police car can I steal next…?

Vehicle 9: Police helicopter.  Stolen by the T-1000.

Watching his enemies driving off in their SWAT truck, the T-1000 gets angry.  Not because his enemies are getting away, but because he has vehicle envy.  His solution?  To drive his police bike through the third floor window of the Cyberdyne building directly into the police helicopter hovering outside.  That’s called upping the ante.

Vehicle 10: Tanker.  Stolen by the T-1000.

The T-1000’s enjoyment of the helicopter is short lived, as the T-800 pulls off the classic ‘slam your brakes so the pursuing bad guy crashes into the back of your car’ move, destroying the chopper.  Another excellent benefit of a SWAT truck!  Forced to take the next vehicle to come by, the T-1000’s eyes light up (metaphorically – he is an emotionless cyborg after all) when he sees that it’s a tanker, a vehicle with high smashing capability.  If only he realised it was full of liquid nitrogen…

Vehicle 11: A beat up ute.  Stolen by the T-800, Sarah Connor, and John Connor.

Unfortunately for the good guys, when they take out the T-1000’s chopper, the SWAT truck’s wheel gets popped and they need to commandeer another vehicle themselves.  Having seen a tanker roll into the T-1000’s path, what are they presented with?  The lamest vehicle in the movie, a beat up ute with a maximum speed that is far short of what any of the passengers would hope for.  In other words, a vehicle good for nothing other than to increase the dramatic tension of the film’s climactic chase.  In other words, perfect.

So at the end of the film there have been eleven vehicles stolen, six of which were police vehicles: four cars, four trucks, two bikes, and a helicopter.  The lesson?  If you work as a police officer in the California area, make sure you have maximum insurance coverage.

One Response to “Terminator 2: Lock Up Your Vehicle”

  1. держись June 3, 2015 at 6:49 am #

    Good blog you have here.. It’s difficult to find high-quality writing
    like yours these days. I honestly appreciate people like you!
    Take care!!

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