Tag Archives: Batman

The Stupidest Lawsuits of All Time: Part Two

22 Dec

 

In part one of this post, we read about some lawsuits that were optimistic, vexatious, or just downright stupid.  Or all three.  Sadly, (or awesomely depending on your view) they weren’t even the worst of them, as you’ll see in this, The Stupidest Lawsuits of All Time: Part Two.

In part one I also left you with the following pop quiz:

Which of the following are reasons why actual lawsuits were filed by US prisoners:

  1. A prison failed to freeze a prisoner’s ice-cream.
  2. A prisoner received a bad haircut.
  3. A phone message taken for a prisoner contained errors.
  4. A prison refused to serve an inmate veal, lamb and oysters.

The answer?  All of the above!  Obviously!  Yes, evidence suggests that US criminals love themselves a stupid lawsuit.  I suppose they do have a lot of spare time on their hands.

Take, for example, Dale Frank Maisano.  The inmate of the Arizona State Prison Complex in Tucson sued the prison for giving him a “non-medical diet” that resulted in “cramps which caused the plaintiff to lose sleep”.  The amount of damages he was seeking?  One trillion dollars.  You might want to dial that back a notch Dale.

Or not…

Maisano also sued the prison for giving him late meals two days in a row, resulting in him developing an eating disorder.  The amount of damages he sought for that?  TEN trillion dollars!  Needless to say these lawsuits were dismissed.  As were the 380 other suits he’s filed since 1991!  Like I said, they have a lot of spare time on their hands.

"Ten trillion dollars!"

“Ten trillion dollars!”

But it’s not just US criminals who enjoy a stupid lawsuit.  The guys on the other side of the courtroom have proven themselves just as idiotic.  In 2007, a Washington D.C. judge named Roy Pearson sued the owners of a ‘mom and pop’ drycleaners*.  After he had picked up an $800 pair of pants ($800!!!) he had dropped off to be cleaned, Pearson examined the pants and decided that they were not his.  He sued the drycleaners, Mr and Mrs Chung, for stealing his $800 pants (seriously – $800!!!) and swapping them with a cheap replacement.  Even though they didn’t think they’d done anything wrong, the Chungs offered to settle the lawsuit by paying the judge $12,000.

Pearson refused.

Instead he wanted at least $1,500 per defendant for each day that they displayed a ‘Satisfaction guaranteed’ sign on their business (estimated at 12,000 days), emotional damages, the cost of a car to drive to an alternate drycleaners, and legal fees – even though Pearson represented himself!  The total cost of the lawsuit?  $67 million!

Thankfully not all judges are absurdly misguided as Pearson, and his lawsuit was promptly dismissed by the courts, as was his inevitable appeal.  Not only that, Pearson was required to pay the Chungs’ legal fees.  The best part about this story, however, is that Pearson also lost his job as a judge after a review board found he lacked “appropriate judgment and judicial temperament.”  The technical legal term for that comment by the review board is ‘rank understatement’.

I'd like to think Pearson's pants looked like this.

I’d like to think Pearson’s pants looked like this.

What could be worse than suing a hard working, older couple just trying to do a good job?  Suing a pair of children for giving you free cookies.  Yes, a 49-year-old American woman named Wanita Young sued her neighbours, teenagers Taylor Ostergaard and Lindsey Zellitti.  The friends spent an evening baking cookies for the residents of their street.  They wanted their good deed to be anonymous, however, and so left the heart shaped packages of biscuits on their neighbours’ porches, knocked on the doors, and ran away.  They also left behind notes saying, “Have a great night.  From the T and L Club.”  Naturally this enraged and frightened Young, who promptly called the police.  Even though the police saw nothing to suggest a crime had been committed and tried to calm Young down, she admitted herself into hospital the following day with a complaint of an anxiety attack.

Ostergaard and Zellitti apologised to Young when they found out, and their parents offered to pay her medical bills.  She turned down the offer and instead decided to sue.  There is a happy ending, as whilst the judge awarded Young the $900 she was seeking for medical damages, her claim of $3000 for lost wages and new motion-sensor lights was denied.  Also, when the ruling made national headlines, members of the public donated money to the teens to cover their costs.  The moral of the story?  Do not go trick-or-treating in that neighbourhood.

It’s not just crazy people who file ridiculous lawsuits – it’s also crazy cities as well.  In 2008, the mayor of a Turkish city planned suing Christopher Nolan and Warner Bros., the director and company behind the film The Dark Knight.  The city sought royalties from the film.  Why?  Because the Turkish city in question is named Batman.

As the mayor said, “There is only one Batman in the world.  The American producers used the name of our city without informing us.”  Not even the Joker would dare commit a crime so outrageous.

The mayor of Batman did not mention why the city hadn’t sued anyone before, even though the character was created in 1939, the TV show debuted in 1966, and five other Batman films were released before The Dark Knight.  It doesn’t take the Caped Crusader to figure out that The Dark Knight’s box office takings of over $1 billion might have had something to do with it.

Perhaps most bizarrely, the mayor planned on claiming damages for a number of unsolved murders and a high female suicide rate resulting from the psychological impact the film’s success had on the city’s residents.

Bruce Wayne always struggled internally with himself, but this is truly the biggest fight Batman has had with Batman.

"Let's see.  'I'm Istanbul!'  No.  'I'm Ankara!'  Nup.  'I'm Izmir!'  Nope.  'I'm Batman!'  Yes!  That works!"

“Let’s see. ‘I’m Istanbul!’ No. ‘I’m Ankara!’ Nup. ‘I’m Izmir!’ Nope. ‘I’m Batman!’ Yes! That works!”

Going to a strip club on your bucks night can be dangerous, depending on whether or not your fiancé finds out, but for Paul Shimkonis, his visit to the Diamond Dolls Club was particularly fraught with peril.  That was because Shimkonis was injured – by being struck in the face by a stripper’s breasts, resulting in alleged injuries to his face, head and neck.

The alleged ‘assailant’ was Tawny Peaks (possibly not her birth name), a stripper and star of several adult films including Boob Cruise ’94 (I’m not making that up).  Tawny sports a pair of breasts variously reported as between sizes 60HHH and 69HH – in other words, freaking huge – which she used to ‘entertain’ Shimkonis.  However, Shimkonis claimed that Tawny’s breasts were so hard, and hit him so forcefully, that they knocked him out and gave him whiplash.  Or as I like to call it, striplash.

As Shimkonis stated, “I was literally seeing stars.  The best way to describe it is like a concrete block hitting me in the forehead.”  Not sure what the doctor used for Tawny’s implants, but I would stick to silicone if I was him.  In any event, Shimkonis sued Peaks and the Diamond Dolls Club for $15,000 in damages.  Preferably in $1 bills.

Just when you think this story couldn’t get more ridiculous, the lawsuit was heard on the television show, The People’s Court.  After hearing evidence on Peaks’ breasts being like “concrete”, a female bailiff ‘appraised’ her breasts (Tawny’s, not the bailiff’s) and gave evidence that they were, “About two pounds each and of average firmness.”  The lawsuit was dismissed, and Tawny was free to slap her breasts into the faces of more appreciative men.

Finally is this, possibly my favourite lawsuit of all time.

According to he lawsuit of Allen Heckard, of Portland, USA, life was tough.  He couldn’t attend religious services, ride public transport, play sport in public parks, or eat at restaurants without being harassed.  The cause of the harassment, according to his lawsuit, was that Heckard looked too similar to basketball superstar Michael Jordan.  Yes, in 2006 he sued Jordan and the company that helped make him a celebrity, Nike, $416 million each on the grounds that his resemblance to Jordan caused emotional pain and suffering, defamation, and permanent injury.  Apparently not everyone wants to ‘Be Like Mike’.

Mmmm...no.

Mmmm…no.

In Heckard’s words, “I’m constantly being accused of looking like Michael, and it makes it very uncomfortable for me.  Even when I go to the gym I’m being accused of playing ball like him.”  Yes, I’m sure you frequently get told you play like the best and most exciting basketball player that ever lived.  And even if you did, it must be devastating to hear.  As for looking like Jordan, Heckard is six inches shorter and eight years older, which doesn’t help his claims.  And if his ‘resemblance’ to Jordan is so problematic for him, perhaps he could stop shaving his head and wearing Nike earrings and Jordan sneakers.

Heckard eventually dropped the suit.  He was last seen at the Diamond Dolls Club.

The History of Superman on Film – Part III: The First Reboot and the Last Chance

28 Jun

For The History of Superman on Film – Part I: The Early Years, click here.

For The History of Superman on Film – Part II: The Flops and the Wilderness Years, click here.

After the dismal failures of Superman III and Superman IV: The Quest For Peace, the franchise had been snuffed out quicker than a Lex Luthor heist.  Multiple attempts at resurrecting the character had failed, for a variety of reasons, until the Warner Bros.’ project Superman Returns was green-lit.  X-Men and X2 director Bryan Singer had been signed to helm the new movie.  The hopes of Superman fans across the globe rested on his shoulders.  Would he be able to bear the Superman-esque burden, or fail like his predecessors? 

The First Reboot: Superman Returns

With Warner Bros.’ blessing to not only direct Superman Returns, but develop it, Bryan Singer called on some old friends to help him out.  Michael Dougherty and Dan Harris wrote X2, and Singer brought them on board to help write the screenplay for this project.  Six drafts later (and with references to Superman lamenting his absence from Earth on September 11 removed) Singer had a screenplay he was confident in.

During the whole process, there was only one person he had in mind for Lex Luthor – old friend Kevin Spacey, who he directed in The Usual Suspects.  Despite Claire Danes and Keri Russell being considered for the role of Lois Lane, Spacey recommended Kate Bosworth, with whom he had worked on Beyond the Sea.  Singer took up the recommendation.

No matter how the other casting shaped up, the only casting decision anyone cared about was of course that for the titular role.  Singer was a fan of Richard Donner’s original Superman, and decided to follow his approach of casting a relative unknown as the Man of Steel.  A huge worldwide casting call went out, with auditions taking place in the US, the UK, Canada and Australia.  The winning candidate was someone who had not only been on McG’s original radar, but had auditioned for – and missed out on – the role of Clark Kent in the TV series Smallville: Christopher Reeve lookalike Brandon Routh.

"Oh my god, this is embarrassing... We're wearing the same outfit."

“Oh my god, this is embarrassing… We’re wearing the same outfit.”

Things were looking positive for the franchise, possibly for the first time ever.  A proven director was taking the helm without any fear for his job or undue studio interference; the studio, in conjunction with Legendary Pictures, had opened the coffers to finance the film; and there weren’t any distractions from the cast, who all wanted to be there and see the film’s success.

When the film screened in 2006, it topped the US box office, and broke Warner Bros.’ record for five-day earnings.  It appeared that the studio’s optimism was well founded.  However despite the early successes, and the generally positive critical reviews, box office receipts declined almost immediately.  This was no doubt partly due to other blockbusters that were released, such as Disney’s Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest, but also due to a lukewarm reception by fans.

The film was far from a commercial failure; it grossed over $200 million domestically, and almost as much again worldwide, ranking it the 6th and 9th highest earning films of the year in the US and global markets respectively.  But for a film with a $209 million budget and high hopes, this was a disappointment to Warner Bros.

Warner Bros. had always planned a sequel to Superman Returns (Superman Returns AgainSuperman Stays?) using the same team, and even announced a release date of mid-2009.  However, after seeing the returns on the film, the studio had doubts.

The expectations of Singer, Routh and the other main players were that the sequel would go ahead.  Dougherty and Harris had begun developing the screenplay, and Singer dropped out of directing a remake of Logan’s Run, a project he had wanted to undertake for some time.  Ultimately, however, Warner Bros. pulled the plug.

Man of Steel: The last chance?

The superhero movie has never been more lucrative.  The Dark Knight trilogy of Batman films shattered all kinds of box office records, with last year’s Avengers shattering them again.  If ever there was a time for Superman to make a successful return to the silver screen, it is now.

And Warner Bros. know it.

The influence of the past mistakes of the franchise, as well as present successes in the market, can be seen all over the development of the project.  Whether this is a sensible case of learning from past mistakes or an overly cautious approach that will hamstring the film remains to be seen.

This is approximately the amount of money The Dark Knight earned in its first weekend.

This is approximately the amount of money The Dark Knight earned in its first weekend.

Seeking a full reboot of the franchise with no connections to any films of the past (as was the case in Superman Returns), Warner Bros. invited some of America’s best creative in 2008, including writers from the comic book industry, to pitch ideas about how to revive Superman’s film legacy.  The response was enthusiastic, with universal agreement that it could be done, and that audiences would be willing to forgive any past sins.  It gave the studio hope, although they couldn’t find a story that they could settle on.

Unrelated to Warner Bros.’ search, David S. Goyer (writer of both the Dark Knight and Blade trilogies) had been toying with an idea for a Superman story out of his own interest.  He brought up his idea with director Christopher Nolan when they were developing the story for The Dark Knight Rises in 2010.  Nolan liked the idea and pitched it to Warner Bros.  Warner Bros. liked the idea too, and no doubt liked even more the idea of working with the team who had produced The Dark Knight.  The studio promptly hired Nolan and Goyer to develop the story.

Goyer and Nolan wanted to do the same thing with Superman as they did with Batman – sever all ties to the previous incarnations and start fresh.  This meant that Bryan Singer, who was already unimpressed that the studio didn’t consider his film a success, was not considered to stay on.  Neither was Brandon Routh.

Goyer first asked Guillermo del Toro, with whom he worked on Blade II, to direct, but del Toro was unavailable.  Ben Affleck, Robert Zemeckis, Darren Aronofsky and others were approached, but eventually Zack Snyder (Watchmen, 300) was signed, at which point Nolan removed himself from the project to focus on The Dark Knight Rises and allow Snyder full control of the film.

To find his Man of Steel, Snyder avoided the large scale screen call that went out for Superman and Superman Returns, instead approaching actors he was interested in.  As a result, he found his Superman relatively quickly.  Interestingly, the actor he chose had unsuccessfully auditioned for the role in Superman Returns.  Not only that, he narrowly missed out on being cast as the Caped Crusader in Batman Begins and was on the short list to play 007 in Casino Royale.  This time, however, Henry Cavill would not miss out, becoming the first non-American to ever play Superman on screen.

Also of interest, the actress who won the role of Lois Lane had previously auditioned for the part for Superman Returns and the failed Superman: Fly-By when it was under the helm of Brett Ratner.  For Amy Adams, third time was a charm, as she beat out the likes of Mila Kunis, Olivia Wilde, Natalie Portman, Rachel McAdams and Jessica Biel for the opportunity to play Superman’s love interest.

Other stars signed on to the project – Kevin Costner, Dianne Lane, Laurence Fishburne, and Russell Crowe as Jor-El – giving the film an ensemble cast to compete with the Dark Knight trilogy.

The casting isn’t the only parallel between Man of Steel and its successful DC film counterpart.  Of course there is Nolan and Goyer’s involvement, as well as that of composer Hans Zimmer, but also subtler equivalencies such as a British actor in the protagonist role and even the fact that Man of Steel and The Dark Knight are the first films about Batman and Superman respectively to not mention the superheroes’ names in the title.  It is, however, the promise of another similarity between the franchises that fans are reserving their judgment on, and upon which the success of Man of Steel will ultimately rest.

Will this be it for Superman on film, or the long awaited beginning of a franchise the fans have always wanted?

Will this be it for Superman on film, or the long awaited beginning of a franchise the fans have always wanted?

The marketing campaign has consistently given the same message about this second Superman reboot in under a decade: this time it will be grittier, more realistic, more down to Earth.  This is a new approach for this son of Krypton, as the focus has always been on his otherworldly abilities, not his acceptance in a frequently intolerable world.  Warner Bros. hopes that this is the formula to finally give Superman the platform from which he can soar to new heights.

From the trailers and interviews given prior to its release, there is one other aspect to Man of Steel that has been hinted at and, if true, will indicate a new direction for Superman on film.  Such a factor is one that has not been borrowed from the Dark Knight trilogy, but the other comic book adaptation that has raised the bar for action blockbusters – The Avengers.

Snyder has hinted that Man of Steel will make reference to other superheroes and a broader DC universe.  Could this be the first step in setting up an Avengers like collaboration between DC heroes?  The idea of a Justice League of America movie has been floated about Hollywood before, but with The Avengers grossing over $1.5 billion worldwide, the idea must seem more enticing than ever.  With the Dark Knight series having concluded the DC slate is clean, allowing the stage to be set for a DC super team to hit the big screen.

"Yo Avengers - what are you looking at?"

“Yo Avengers – what are you looking at?”

Of course before any of that the first – and most crucial – milestone must be met: Man of Steel must deliver on the promise that America’s favourite hero has always held, and captivate audiences like never before.  Anything less will be a failure.

The Future?

The story of Superman on film has in many ways been a reflection of the stories they have depicted on screen.  Superman depicted a new hero, the likes of which had never been seen before.  The film – and its protagonist – had challenges along the way, but ultimately captivated the world and was all but universally loved.

By the time Superman III hit cinemas, the on screen action was a farce, which reflected the off screen production and the box office results.  It was only to be outdone by Superman IV: The Quest for Peace, a weak and distilled facsimile of its predecessors depicting a poorer clone of Kal-El.  And Superman Returns showed our hero returning after a prolonged absence, but couldn’t soar.

Fittingly, Man of Steel wrests with Superman’s battle to fit in, to be accepted.  Like Jor-El sending his only child across space to survive, all that Warner Bros. asks is for their creation to be accepted and thrive.  Whilst the fate of the world doesn’t rest upon it, the fate of Superman on film surely does.

The History of Superman on Film: Part II – The Flops and the Wilderness Years

25 Jun

This is Part II of Hesaidwhatnow?’s look at the History of Superman on Film.  For Part I click here.

Despite the difficulties of casting dramas, an overly long screenplay, and a clash between director Richard Donner and producers Ilya and Alexander Salkind, Superman: The Movie and Superman II were huge hits.  The Salkinds had fired Donner and promoted Richard Lester to director, giving them total control of the franchise – but would Superman III be better for it?

The Flops: Superman III and Superman IV: The Quest for Peace

With all ties to Richard Donner cut, the Salkinds were free to produce the type of Superman film they had always wanted to do when they set out to add Superman III to the franchise.

Ilya wrote a treatment for the film and hired David and Leslie Newman to draft the screenplay.  Richard Lester was again engaged to direct, although this time without having Donner’s shadow cast over him, or his footage to work around.  Finally, Ilya saw Richard Prior on an episode of The Tonight Show and immediately wanted to involve him in the project, eventually signing him on to play August “Gus” Gorman, the no-good computer programmer blackmailed into helping plot against Superman.

Every one of those decisions, in some way, contributed to the least successful film in the franchise to that point.

With Donner dumped from the franchise, Gene Hackman again refused to participate in the film, taking with him some of the gravitas that his presence lent the first two movies.  Margot Kidder had also voiced her disapproval of Donner’s firing, and as a result found her role in the third instalment reduced to little more than a cameo, much to the displeasure of many Lois Lane fans.

After reading the Newmans’ screenplay for the first two films, Donner brought in Tom Mankiewicz to rewrite it, as he was concerned that the tone of the films was too campy.  Without Donner and Mankiewicz there to amend the screenplay for Superman III, it remained firmly rooted in slapstick and campness, a contrast to the more serious tone of its predecessors that critics and audiences loved so much.

This wasn’t helped by Lester’s approach to direction.  As Christopher Reeve once said, “Lester was always looking for a gag – sometimes to the point where the gags involving Richard Pryor went over the top.”  This, of course, wasn’t helped by the fact that Pryor had been cast in the movie in the first place.  Whilst an extremely funny man who has made some great movies, his involvement in the Superman franchise was almost universally lambasted, and he became somewhat of a touchstone for all that was wrong with the film.

Superman III was far less successful than its predecessors, grossing less than $60 million domestically and barely passing $70 million worldwide.  As a result, the Salkinds decided that the franchise had run its course, and so their involvement ended.  It looked as though Superman would hang up his red boots and cape and enjoy retirement in his Fortress of Solitude.

Superman carrying Richard Prior over the Grand Canyon?  We probably could have guessed how this movie would do...

Superman carrying Richard Prior over the Grand Canyon? We probably could have guessed how this movie would do…

 

The studios, however, had a different opinion.  Still seeing Superman as a lucrative character, Canon Films and Warner Bros. took over production.  Their first step in bringing a fourth film to life was ensuring that they had Reeve on board to reprise his role.  Reeve was reluctant.  He was still displeased with Superman III, and saw the farcical treatment of one of America’s great characters in that film as disrespectful to fans.  The studios assured him that any new instalments would return to the tone of the original films, but Reeve was still doubtful.

Then taking a leaf out of Brando’s book, the studios made Reeve an offer he couldn’t refuse.  They said that if he reprieved his role as Superman, they would finance any other project of his choosing, as well as allow him the chance to direct a fifth film in the franchise if one was made.  Reeve signed on.

With Reeve on board and the Salkinds out, other cast members signed on quickly, with Gene Hackman even reprising his role as Lex Luthor.  Fresh blood was introduced with Sidney J Furie directing and the screenplay being written by Lawrence Konner and Mark Rosenthal.  Things were looking positive.

Sadly though, the studios did not inject the movie with the same resources as were given to the initial trilogy.  Canon Films had a long list of movies in development, and did not have the money to finance them all.  As a result, the budget for Superman IV: The Quest for Peace was slashed to $17 million, a third of the budget given the first two films, and less than half that of Superman III.

With the reduced budget, everyone involved in the project had to cut corners.  The plot of the film centred around Nuclear Man, an evil Superman clone created by Lex Luthor.  Konner and Rosenthal wanted Reeve to play Nuclear Man, envisioning the stunning effect of Superman battling his clone.  This would, however, involve costly special effects and was ruled out by the studios, the antagonist’s role instead being cast to Mark Pillow.  (With a name like that how could he possibly have beaten the Man of Steel?)

Furie also had to cut corners as director.  Location shoots were all but out of the question and even sets and costumes were toned back.  The result was unsurprisingly another flop – even worse than Superman IV – with the box office receipts not even breaking even with the paltry budget.

Fear me!  For I am the ultimate villain!  I am...Mark Pillow!!!

Fear me! For I am the ultimate villain! I am…Mark Pillow!!!

This time there would be no others lining up to resuscitate the franchise.  Like the character in first film, the Superman franchise was banished to the wilderness, seemingly with no chance of return.

But as with any iconic character, there were those who couldn’t bear to see their idol disappear so meekly.  Superman wouldn’t abandon those that needed him forever; he would just take a long time to return.

1988 – 2006: The Wildnerness Years

After the disasters that were Superman III and Superman IV: The Quest for Peace, the idea of successful comic book adaptations had all but died.  That is until DC’s other tent pole character showed up on screen and proved that it could be done.  And then some.

Batman was a huge hit in 1989.  It turned a $35 million budget into a domestic box office grossing of a $250 million, with millions more earned through world-wide box office receipts and astronomical merchandising sales.  (The merchandise sales were so high that Jack Nicholson’s fee for playing the Joker, which included a percentage of such sales as well as box office receipts, was a staggering $60 million which, until very recently, was the highest ever salary received for a single movie.  No wonder the Joker was always smiling.)

Its sequel, Batman Returns, was also a success, pocketing another $160 million domestically.  With those sorts of numbers floating around, Warner Bros. were keen for another gravy train, and in 1993 obtained sole rights to the Superman franchise.

Inspired by Burton’s gritty take on the Caped Crusader, Warner Bros. wanted a reimagining of Superman as well.  Producer Jon Peters hired comic book nut Kevin Smith (writer of Mallrats, Clerks and Dogma) to draft the screenplay.  What Smith came up with was Superman Lives, a dark tale that put Superman in a black suit called the ‘Eradicator’ and pitted him against notable villains Brainiac and Doomsday.

When it came to finding a director, Warner Bros. couldn’t look past the man that inspired them to pursue the project in the first place.  Tim Burton was keen and signed on board, leaving the Batman franchise to be taken over by others (unfortunately we all know how well that turned out).

Smith had envisioned his friend and many time work colleague Ben Affleck to star as Superman, but Burton had other ideas, much to Smith’s displeasure.  He decided on Nicolas Cage, who was more than happy to take on the role being the huge fan that he was.  (How much of a fan of Superman is Cage?  He named his son Kal-El – Superman’s Kryptonian birth name.  Yowsers.)

The industry is undecided as to whether this photo is genuine or not, but the prospect of Nicolas Cage as Superman was real enough.  I'm scared too...

The industry is undecided as to whether this photo is genuine or not, but the prospect of Nicolas Cage as Superman was real enough. I’m scared too…

Burton wasn’t a fan of Smith’s screenplay, however, and brought in Wesley Strick (Cape Fear, Arachnophobia) to rewrite it.  Smith was obviously furious.  The result of Strick’s effort was an odd story in which Superman now squared off against a bizarre hybrid of Braniac and Lex Luthor called Lexiac.  Warner Bros. didn’t like it at all, scrapped it, hired Dan Gilroy to have a go, didn’t like his version either, and scrapped it too.

At that point Warner Bros. decided to drop the project all together and instead focus on, of all things, Wild Wild West.  Now it was Burton who was furious, having a year of his career wasted.  To think – in that time he could have easily squeezed in a movie starring Johnny Depp.

Jon Peters didn’t give up quite as easily, and tried to see if he could pick up momentum again to get the film going. Interestingly – and potentially somewhat controversially – he turned to the star of Wild Wild West, Will Smith.  Smith saw the potential controversy of having an African American play a traditionally white character and declined, adding in a quote attributed to him that, “You can’t be messing with white people’s heroes in Hollywood.”  Will Smith instead got to taste the superhero life in Hancock, just as Nicolas Cage starred in Ghostrider and its sequel.

As the new century turned over, both of DC’s tent pole characters were struggling on film.  Superman had not been seen for over a decade, and the Batman films seemed destined for the same banishment after the disastrous Batman and Robin (Bat-nipples?  Seriously?)

Not to be deterred, Warner Bros. saw an opportunity to correct both problems at once, by squaring the heroes off against each other in a Batman vs. Superman double whammy.  Andrew Kevin Walker (Se7en) produced a screenplay in which the characters were pals – with Bruce Wayne even being best man at Superman’s wedding – before a growing difference in their values saw them clash.  Initially McG (Charlie’s Angels, Terminator Salvation) was set to direct, and later Wolfgang Peterson (Troy, A Perfect Storm).  Eventually, however, that concept got scrapped.

When Batman Begins showed that rebooting a franchise could be done, momentum for another Superman film started anew.  J.J. Abrams (Armageddon, Lost) had created a screenplay called Superman: Flyby.  It was a true reboot – an origin story showing not only Superman’s birth, but his death and ultimate resurrection after a stop in a Kryptonian heaven.

The project gained real impetus, with Brett Ratner (Rush Hour, X-Men: Last Stand) on board to direct, but as always, the search for the actor to step into the red boots of the Man of Steel was the number one goal.  The studio was high on Josh Hartnett after his successful turns in Black Hawk Down and Pearl Harbour, seeing him as the next big thing.  They offered him a huge salary to sign up for a trilogy of Superman films, with some reports suggesting the figure was as much as $100 million.  Despite the jaw-dropping money, Hartnett turned down the offer, worried that he would be forever typecast, and would be unable to pursue other interests until the trilogy was completed.

Other actors were considered, including David Boreanaz (TV’s Bones and Angel), Brendan Fraser, Ashton Kutcher, and Anakin Skywalker himself, Hayden Christensen.  When Ratner left the project, McG came back on board, and he wanted to take a leaf out of the original film’s book at hire a relative unknown.  Included on the list of actors he considered were TV actors Jason Behr (Roswell), Jared Padalecki (Supernatural), and Henry Cavill (The Tudors) – the latter a name that would come up again.

Before an actor was found to play Superman, McG pulled out of the project again, this time because Warner Bros. wanted to film in Australia, and McG didn’t want to leave the US.  Bryan Singer was approached as his replacement – a sound choice given the success of the comic book adaptations he had recently directed: X-Men and X2.

It was during the filming of X2 in 2003 that Singer had actually come up with an idea for a Superman film story.  It involved Superman returning to Earth after a five year absence, and he pitched this idea to the studio in 2004 as an alternative to Abrams’ Superman: Fly-By screenplay, which he saw as too great a departure from the Superman tale the world knew and loved.  It was well received, and Warner Bros. signed him on to direct and develop Superman Returns, leaving Ratner to take over the helm of X-Men: Last Stand.

Singer was locked in, and the project was given a 2006 release date and a hefty budget to work with.  Warner Bros. waited with hope to see whether Superman Returns would see Superman reclaim not only his mantle as Earth’s hero, but as a box office hero as well.

Log back in to Hesaidwhatnow? to read the third and final part of The History of Superman on Film, which looks at Superman Returns and Man of Steel.

Super Heroes and Mutant Villains – Update!

23 Mar

He has been revealed!

For those who missed it, recently on Hesaidwhatnow? we reported that a hero dressed as the Caped Crusader apprehended a wanted criminal and took him to the police.  Awesome.  The man – dubbed the ‘Bradford Batman’ – then “promptly vanished into the night to fight crime, and the fear of crime”, as the local police described it, before his identity could be revealed.

Well the Bradford Batman has taken an unprecedented step for a superhero and disclosed his identity.  No, he is not handsome billionaire Bruce Wayne, but 39-year-old Chinese takeaway deliveryman, Stan Warby.  Holy kung pow chicken!

 

Inspiring fear into the hearts of all criminals

Inspiring fear into the hearts of all criminals

As Warby described it, he was friends with the criminal in question, and had been trying to “knock some sense into him” during the week to try to get him to turn himself in to police (as opposed to turning himself into police, which would require the ability to multiply himself and several years’ training at the Police Academy).  After some time in contemplation – possibly in a cave full of bats – the criminal came to his senses and asked Warby to give him a lift to the station.  The problem was at that moment Warby had just been to a soccer match, dressed as the Dark Knight.  Hence all the fun.

So why did Warby decide to expose his secret?  For fame or fortune?  To inspire the Peter Parkers and Clark Kents of the world to share their identity?  No, Warby’s chief motivator it seems was to let everyone know that he only appeared tubby in the footage captured on the famous night because he was wearing a tracksuit underneath his costume.  You might say such motivation is vain, but think of what Penguin and the Joker might do if they thought Batman had let himself go?

Instead, the local community can relax, knowing that out there, somewhere, a hero is there to save the day.  So remember Bradford, if you see the Bradford Batman, be sure to thank him.  And tip him generously for the sizzling Mongolian lamb and honey chicken.

Super Heroes and Mutant Villains

11 Mar

It’s a dangerous world in which we live.  Everyday we run the risk of getting hit by a car, being the victim of a crime, or accidentally hearing a Nickelback song.  In fact it has gotten so bad that there are now mutant villains plaguing the world (seriously – we’ll get to that shortly).

Luckily we also have this guy.

In Bradford, England, the police were looking for a felon wanted for fraud and stolen goods offences, but were having no success in finding him.  Like Bonny Tyler, the Bradford police needed a hero.  A superhero.

To the police’s great surprise, their wish came true, when none other than Batman himself brought the wanted criminal to the Bradford Police Station.

Holy spandex Batman!

Holy spandex Batman!

Looking a little more ‘Adam West’ than ‘Christian Bale’, the Caped Crusader brought the dastardly villain to the authorities, telling the officers “I’ve caught this one for you.”  With the crook in custody, Batman fled off into the night to get his hands on more criminals – or possibly a six-pack and a kebab.  Even though his identity remains unknown, the citizens of Bradford feel a little safer knowing that a portly man in a grey suit is out there, cleaning up the streets, and the remains of last night’s pizza.

It may not be long before the city of Tehran shines the Bat-Signal into the night sky in a desperate attempt to gain help for its current problem – mutant rats.  The Iranian capital is in the midst of a plague, the city being overrun by “mutant rats” that have grown freakishly huge due to “being exposed to radiation and chemicals”.

Under normal circumstances, this wouldn’t be a problem, as the rats would go on to become wise mentors to fun loving teenage mutant ninja turtles; however in this instance the rats have become cat sized and outnumber the human citizens living in the city.

Public Service Announcement: Hide your cheese

Public Service Announcement: Hide your cheese

The initial solution was poison, but the effectiveness of that solution is decreasing against the “hyper-evolved” rodents, so the Iranian government has devised a new plan: snipers.

Originally the government deployed 10 squads of snipers, but the Rodents of Unusual Size were too numerous, and so that number was upped to 40.  Deployed with the most advanced weaponry, including laser sight rifles, the snipers hunt their enemy around the clock.  Yet still the rat epidemic continues.

Mutant rats, the Caped Crusader – I feel a Dark Knight Rises sequel coming…