Pimp My Getaway Vehicle

20 May

It’s critical when committing a robbery that you don’t just plan how to commit the crime, but also how you’ll get away.  The following Dumb Crims may have forgotten that last bit.

Howard Shanholtzer stole some surveillance equipment from a store in California, USA, and fled in his car.  Aware that the police knew what sort of car he drove, Shanholtzer  decided to swap his vehicle for another.  Clever.  Unfortunately, he ditched his white Mitsubishi pickup truck and stole…a white Mitsubishi pickup truck.  Not so clever.  Unsurprisingly the police promptly caught him.  Shanholtzer isn’t the smartest man, but you can’t fault his brand loyalty.

The truck he was driving.

The truck Shanholtzer was driving.

The truck Shanholtzer stole.

The truck Shanholtzer stole.

Also failing to choose a getaway vehicle that would successfully elude the police were Wesley Leon Jumper and Shawn Carnell Stewart.  It was clear that this pair had problems when they decided it was necessary to steal $500 worth of soap and shampoo from a pharmacy, but their membership to the Dumb Crims club was cemented when they decided to make their getaway in an ice cream truck.  As a spokeswoman for the Charles County Sheriff’s Office stated, the ice cream truck was “a very easy vehicle to spot”.  The pair didn’t help their cause by playing Greensleeves over their speakers and stopping to serve ice cream to kids.

Finally, Harley Traverse robbed a bank in Rhode Island, USA, warning the teller that he had a gun and a police scanner.  He fled with $32,000 (which gets him one up on the ice cream brothers and their haul of toiletries) but from there his plans faltered somewhat.  Specifically in his choice of getaway vehicle: a bicycle.  Needless to say he was promptly caught and arrested.  Sadly for Traverse, prison is not easy for people who wear bike shorts.

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